I've been a gamer -- a pen and paper, books and dice gamer -- since I played my first game of AD&D back when I was in grade school. I've played or run everything from the aforementioned variations of D&D to Shadowrun to Heavy Gear. I have an RPG collection that takes up the better part of half a bookshelf, I love writing setting material for the RPGs I have played, I've gone to GenCon 4 out of the last 5 years, and I'm an active member of RPGnet. Almost all my friends in high school and college played RPGs to some extent or another.
But here's the problem -- I haven't played an RPG in ages. The last game I played in was a PbP Twilight 2000 game, which was awesome, but it sort of died out due to players losing interest, although the fact that it lasted almost three years is no small feat either. I haven't played in a real, face-to-face game for almost three or four years now though. I have tons of ideas for something to run (even though I'd much rather play, since I always seem to run games), but I only really know one or two people locally who are interested in the same sorts of games I am. Sadly, gritty low-power games do not seem to be the flavor of the month.
To some extent I blame this on the fact that D&D and d20 have bottled up 90% of the RPG market, giving a lot of new gamers the idea that that's the only thing out there. It's not the late '80s, early '90s heyday of RPGs when you could go into a gaming store (a real, brick-and-mortar gaming store like the old Sword and Crown here in Champaign) and see dozens of different systems and settings represented on the shelves. Even those non-d20 companies out there like DP9 and Catalyst Game Labs (the new publishers of Shadowrun) seem to only be publishing a trickle of books every year (and even fewer I'm actually interested in). The demise of the FLGS, in particular the good FLGS, means there's really no place to meet other people interested in various games casually, and that sets you up for making posts on various boards and possibly ending up with one of these with no forewarning.
For someone who is trying to do semi-serious writing in the field, it makes it hard for me to playtest ideas I have as well. This is part of why my SilCore conversion of Shadowrun remains in a half-completed state; sadly, the game I tried to run on IRC with them just didn't work out. Dan and other people on #rpgnet are trying to convince me to give it another try, and I may end up doing that, but I don't have high hopes. I just want to bring back those days when I was in high school and college, when a bunch of friends would get around a table and have fun playing out a story and being far cooler than we actually were for a few hours every week. I miss being excited about the weekend because it meant I was going to get to see something I had worked on get enjoyed by someone else right there in front of me. I miss having discussions with people about what worked and what didn't and how I can make it better -- something I only really get to do once a year now at GenCon with NSDM folks.
*sigh* I know this comes dangerous close to violating the no-whining policy I set for myself, but I can't help but be filled with a bit of nostalgia these days when I pick up one of the books I have lying around, or when I read actual play threads on RPGnet or the Cthulhu Rising boards. One of these days, I am going to have a game group again, and I can use all the ideas bubbling around in my brain. Until then, I'll have to be satisfied with writing down what I want to do once I get one, and helping other people have material they can use with their own gaming groups.
But here's the problem -- I haven't played an RPG in ages. The last game I played in was a PbP Twilight 2000 game, which was awesome, but it sort of died out due to players losing interest, although the fact that it lasted almost three years is no small feat either. I haven't played in a real, face-to-face game for almost three or four years now though. I have tons of ideas for something to run (even though I'd much rather play, since I always seem to run games), but I only really know one or two people locally who are interested in the same sorts of games I am. Sadly, gritty low-power games do not seem to be the flavor of the month.
To some extent I blame this on the fact that D&D and d20 have bottled up 90% of the RPG market, giving a lot of new gamers the idea that that's the only thing out there. It's not the late '80s, early '90s heyday of RPGs when you could go into a gaming store (a real, brick-and-mortar gaming store like the old Sword and Crown here in Champaign) and see dozens of different systems and settings represented on the shelves. Even those non-d20 companies out there like DP9 and Catalyst Game Labs (the new publishers of Shadowrun) seem to only be publishing a trickle of books every year (and even fewer I'm actually interested in). The demise of the FLGS, in particular the good FLGS, means there's really no place to meet other people interested in various games casually, and that sets you up for making posts on various boards and possibly ending up with one of these with no forewarning.
For someone who is trying to do semi-serious writing in the field, it makes it hard for me to playtest ideas I have as well. This is part of why my SilCore conversion of Shadowrun remains in a half-completed state; sadly, the game I tried to run on IRC with them just didn't work out. Dan and other people on #rpgnet are trying to convince me to give it another try, and I may end up doing that, but I don't have high hopes. I just want to bring back those days when I was in high school and college, when a bunch of friends would get around a table and have fun playing out a story and being far cooler than we actually were for a few hours every week. I miss being excited about the weekend because it meant I was going to get to see something I had worked on get enjoyed by someone else right there in front of me. I miss having discussions with people about what worked and what didn't and how I can make it better -- something I only really get to do once a year now at GenCon with NSDM folks.
*sigh* I know this comes dangerous close to violating the no-whining policy I set for myself, but I can't help but be filled with a bit of nostalgia these days when I pick up one of the books I have lying around, or when I read actual play threads on RPGnet or the Cthulhu Rising boards. One of these days, I am going to have a game group again, and I can use all the ideas bubbling around in my brain. Until then, I'll have to be satisfied with writing down what I want to do once I get one, and helping other people have material they can use with their own gaming groups.
I miss those days too. I had spent many days hanging out at sword and crow myself I was mostly into magic and vampire (formerly jahad) card games instead of RPGs. I cannot see how I can even make time for it today if games and brick and morters made a resurgence. I would need a lot of free time and that is something that just will not happen unless I get younger and probably single too.
At least there are still pockets of players around and still a store or two to buy things at, and I don't expect that to ever change in a college town. Anyway I saw a store in a mall up in the chicago burbs that was more or less 100% devoted to warhammer, I hope things like that can stay around for a while. I also hope to expose my son to some decent games and let him use his mind a bit, he likes catan already which is a good start for an almost 3 year old. Of course this poor attempt to live vicariously will ensure that he rebels and becomes a jock or something.